sweetheart bitterheart

malnutrition

2011-12-09T22:54:00.000-08:00

i figured we should all have a good laugh about how i took 5 years off of my life today.

food diary 12/09/2011

-cereal with soy milk
-frozen trader joes indian cuisine (palek paneer)
-fried fish taco and some fried shrimp and french fries
-frozen cheese pizza on sourdough bread
-3 pieces of chocolate
-some pringles
-chocolate cupcake

THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU MOVE BACK INTO YOUR PARENTS HOUSE.

lol. sad. excuse me while i go chug some chlorella.

hi world.

2011-12-02T01:46:00.000-08:00

i just wanted to say hi. and that God is a tricky lil dad! he will take us around the world to get us back on track. it's like that band of horses lyric, "if i am lost, it's only for a little while." that's one of my favorite lyrics. anyway, i'm getting back on track. and feeling more like myself again. (hence the blog writing? miracle?) i can't believe i ever thought i might need to compromise that.

and it feels good.

on second thought

2011-10-23T21:28:00.001-07:00

i'd rather hang around.

adrienne doesn't live here anymore

2011-04-20T17:52:00.000-07:00

head on over to my new blog!

new name, same great taste.

why i became a vegan

2011-04-14T10:47:00.000-07:00

this post has been in the works for some time now, but it's hard to know exactly what to say and i don't particularly want to offend anyone. but nonetheless, here we go.

a month and a half ago, on feb 24, we moved into our new apartment. (still obsessed, by the way.) after a whole day of moving our stuff in, we decided to go eat at red robin for dinner. we shared a crispy chicken salad and an appetizer. that night, i got extremely sick. i'll spare you the gory details but suffice it to say i was either in the bathroom or writhing in pain in bed. i don't know why, but all night i kept thinking, "it was that nasty chicken. it's rotting inside my body." (fyi, the chicken didn't taste nasty.. we both enjoyed in, and james didn't get sick.) it was just my intuition telling me the chicken caused my sickness.

fast forward to probably 3 weeks later. i had read somewhere about jonathan safran foer's book called "eating animals." i had previously read everything is illuminated and loved it. i don't think i realized it was a nonfiction case for vegetarianism, but rather thought it was a cool indie book with a pretty cover. well, i started reading and within a chapter or two i was resigned to the fact that i'd probably go vegetarian by the end of the book -- an idea i didn't fear, as i've never been a huge meat lover. then i came across this passage in the section about food borne illness:

"Why aren't more people aware of, and angry about, the rates of avoidable food-borne illness? Perhaps it doesn't seem obvious that something is amiss simply because anything that happens all the time -- like meat, especially poultry, becoming infected by pathogens -- tends to fade into the background.

Whatever the case, if you know what to look for, the pathogen problem comes into terrifying focus. For example, the next time a friend has a sudden "flu" -- what folks sometimes misdescribe as "the stomach flu" -- ask a few questions. Was your friend's illness one of those "24-hour flus" that come and go quickly: retch or crap, then relief? The diagnosis isn't quite so simple, but if the answer to this question is yes, your friend probably didn't have the flu at all.

He or she was probably suffering from one of the 76 million cases of food-borne illness the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has estimated happen in America each year. Your friend didn't "catch a bug" so much as eat a bug. And in all likelihood, that bug was created by factory farming."

my mind immediately took me back to the red robin incident. and i was convinced. meat is disgusting.

i don't remember where i went from here, but somehow i got the idea to order alicia silverstone's book, "the kind diet." basically, it talks about why meat, dairy and eggs are nasty (meat: contributes to heart disease, cancer, and osteoporosis, it's full of hormones, it's horrible for the environment, and obviously it's really sad for the animals in these conditions. dairy: linked to cancer, makes you fat, causes allergies and asthma, CAUSES osteoporosis, nasty to the planet and cruel to the animals.) i didn't list all of the harm meat and dairy cause, if you want to know more, check out alicia's book. she then goes on to mention all the perks of veganism. to name a few: lose weight, your skin glows, you have more light energy and are more peaceful (some people believe you take in the fear and depression of the animals you eat), save the environment, animals, and yourself from many diseases. her book is also helpful to people flirting with veganism because she debunks all the myths: how will i get my protein? iron? vitamin b12? at the end, she has recipes for all types of vegan and "superhero" foods, and they all look fantastic.

finally, i was referred to colin campbell's book, and the longest nutritional study to date, "the china study." this one basically confirms all of what alicia claims but in a more detailed, scientific way. bottom line: protein from animal-based foods CAUSES cancer. and heart disease. and obesity. etc. as you can imagine, the chinese eat a mainly plant-based diet and they have much lower numbers of these "western" diseases. they also weigh less, but consume around 30% more calories than we do! magic.

i'm not done with the book yet, but one of the coolest thing i've read so far is the study dr. caldwell esselstyn conducted. he took 18 people who, in the previous eight year before the study, had a combined total of 49 coronary events including agina (chest pain), bypass surgery, strokes, heart attacks, and angioplasty. these were broken hearts. for the next 11 years, dr. caldwell only subscribed one thing: a plant-based diet focused on avoiding "oils, meat, fish, fowl and dairy products." can you guess what happened? they cured themselves. they not only haulted the heart disease, but reversed it. 70% of his patients saw their clogged arteries open up. in other words, dr. caldwell CURED HEART DISEASE. again, MAGIC!!

aside from all of these health benefits, i really just want to save the animals. they live in the most unbelievably horrible conditions and frankly, it's not fair. they are innocent beings and they don't deserve that. it makes me sick and so sad. if you don't know anything about this, please watch "meet your meat" videos on youtube or watch the amazing documentary, "earthlings." you can watch it online for free here. we need to know this stuff. (and can you imagine treating your dogs and cats like this? not cool.)

FINALLY, for those of you who are thinking, "but, in the bible it says that God ordained animals for our use." to that i say, no. it is my personal belief that God has cursed the eating of animals. yes, it was initially a blessing and a need, but when we abuse blessings they become curses unto us. and we have COMPLETELY abused the system of animal husbandry. we are killing the earth God gave us and we are mercilessly slaughtering billions of his beautiful animals every year, needlessly. back in the hunting and gathering days they ate tons of meat, and did they get cancer or heart disease? no. as far as i know, things like e. coli and swine flu are new phenomenons. God is pissed!! this is not how it's supposed to be. and the bottom line is, we need to STOP these crazy ways or we will all die.

end scene.

and that's why i became a vegan.

the heavenly child

2011-04-12T22:05:00.000-07:00

day off

2011-04-05T09:48:00.000-07:00

well, every tuesday is my "day off" but something feels really day-offy about this one. here's what i plan to do:

-collard greens/baked sweed potato
-walk doggie
-lovin up on my little doggie while my man's at work
-finish "the kind diet" (more on this later)
-work on lit. review for paper (only if i get realllly bored)
-rewatch a conference talk or two that i may or may not have fallen asleep during
-clean room
-apartment therapy
-dishes
-smiths/sunflower/whole foods for more veggie fare
-start "china study"?
-bake more vegan pumpkin cookies for the stratttons (and mostly for us)
-pay christian (JAMES!)
-loving up on my man when he gets home in 5 hours

well, lunch is calling, gtg!!!

bffs

2011-03-27T18:39:00.000-07:00

currently playing

2011-03-21T12:29:00.000-07:00

kelley stoltz ~ i remember, you were wild

HOME. (equipped with many a nook)

2011-03-14T14:47:00.000-07:00

the bay windows aka the best part

lovely view of the city

karlstad nook<3 //////////////////////////cubby nook

entertainment nook

never without a stack of library dvds. (apparently we're on a disney kick right now)

the dining nook

fireplace nook/////////// /////////// reading/sun bathing nook

yeah. we pretty much love it.

subday

2011-03-13T14:24:00.000-07:00

quizzing james on his sandwiches. he's taking his new job very seriously.

slc sunset

2011-03-11T19:58:00.000-08:00

slumber

2011-03-02T22:15:00.000-08:00

we moved! more on that soon, but i just wanted to shout it on the mountain top that i LOVE our new house. okay, it's a tiny apartment. but i get to call it a house because it already feels like home to me. and you know what? i have been sleeping SO well for the past 4 nights (ever since we moved in.) for the last week or so in our previous house i could barely sleep. maybe it's cause i was stressed with school or the idea of moving or because i was sick but i secretly think it's because we're finally in the right place.

sigh of relief.

f & f

2011-01-23T16:54:00.000-08:00

last night i dreamt that all my friends were dead. are you? i miss you guys.

before i got married i felt this "ambiguous longing" as james calls it, for what i assume was the void in me longing for a family. before i got married, i always had good friends around me but never a strong family situation.

now i have family and no friends. weird.

leaders

2011-01-18T19:23:00.000-08:00

i was in the middle of finding the birth and death dates, countries of origin, occupations, and accomplishments of 40 leaders like genghis khan, king montezuma, peter the great, sha jahan, czar nicholas, hirohito, mccarthy, etc when i took a break to browse fashion blogs, and came across the name nirrimi. will she ever be on a list of great leaders? i don't know.. but probably not. just goes to show how little formal education actually coincides with reality. to me, the beauty in her photos are just as important as whatever sun yat-sen did.

(nirrimi's self portrait)

rose

2010-12-14T11:49:00.001-08:00

these photos are just about pretty enough to turn me into a drinking lady. jk, but aren't they just LOVELY?

i wish real life looked like this.

Q.T.

2010-12-09T22:49:00.000-08:00

This is a factual list about Quentin Tarantino's best films (starting from the best).

1. True Romance
2. Kill Bill 2.
3. Kill Bill 1.
4. Reservoir dogs
5. Pulp Fiction
6. Death Proof

sorry dudes. it's just a fact. don't get your panties in a bunch about #5. to put it in perspective, i really liked death proof.

also, he is actually NOT a Q.T. and he needs to stay behind the camera. but i still dig him.

what the church means to people like me

2010-12-03T21:06:00.000-08:00

have you ever heard of the talk, what the church means to people like me? it's a must read for anyone who wants to better understand the way they or their loved ones approach the gospel of jc. i think it can be especially helpful to couples who might find themselves using differing approaches (you'll see what i mean once you read it) because it helps clarify that there isn't just one right way to function in this church of ours which leads us to be less judgmental. it was given in 1960 in palo alto, where james' pops was in attendance so it gets extra cool points for that.

tis the day

2010-11-25T09:44:00.001-08:00

I'm grateful for:

-James and the love we share
-our sweet dog who brings us so much joy
-a house to live in where we stay warm and cuddly
-a clear spot underneath the trees for marty to do his business even when it snows
-the gospel, and all the blessings it continues to bring even when we take it for granted
-my family back home..
-my mom and her kindness, and her young, silly sense of humor
-patrick and his sweet spirit, kindness, and how well we get along
-bridget and her quirky sense of humor, sweetness
-neil and his hilarious weirdness, sweet wife and cute cat
-ryan and his beautiful wife and beautiful baby boys..
-esp elliott (i haven't met pierce yet!) and his intellect, sweetness, cuteness
-my dad and his generousity.
-our 4 cats for making our lives interesting and making us laugh
-the memory of sweet simone
-james family and their kindness in accepting me into the McO clan
-james' cute nieces and nephews, esp when they are real nice to me :) AKA annniiieeee... jk.
-the fact that james and i are from california and we're gonna go back there soon
-the blessings living in utah has brought and the friends i've made here
-like afton!
-and staci, ariel, candice, marissa, whitney, etc
-the amazing lifelong friends that i've known for 10 years (you know who you are)
-the big TV james' friends bought us
-my hair that grew back
-movies and art and fashion and design and music
-and everything that makes life beautiful
-pretty good health
-having a job
-having a blog

Happy Thanksgiving from the McOmbers!

a work of mart

2010-11-15T13:16:00.001-08:00

marty mcomber formerly known as orphan ace

2010-11-10T16:50:00.000-08:00

for anyone who happens to read this and not my facebook, i have the best news in the whole world ever. JAMES AND I GOT A DOG!!!!!!!!! yes, this is a real miracle because as some of you know, james never wanted a dog. but after we went to the shelter to meet some pups and giving it some thought about how happy it would make me, he agreed. (isn't he the BEST?) anyway, our sweet doggie is called Marty (named after one of james' heros, martin scorsese -- i agreed to let james name him if we got one) and he's the bomb. some deets:

-he didn't bark at all when we went to go look at the shelter dogs, while all the other dogs were barking their heads off as if to say "pick me"! (the meek will inherit parents...)
-he still doesn't bark very much at all, except when he hears someone who might be a bad guy (mailman?) and he wants to protect us, cause that's just what chihuahua's do.
-like i said, he's a chihuahua and although i never particularly cared for his breed, he is SO much cuter than any other chi i've seen and much calmer and well behaved
-hes 1.5 years old, or (FUN FACT!) about 23 in human years. peers.
-all he wants to do is cuddle. no joke. he especially loves to be spooned.

so that's a little about our baby whom we love dearly. and overabundance of pictures (doggie pajamas, anyone?) and posts to ensue. for now, here's the one pic i have uploaded. aint he the cutest?

pumpkin berry

2010-11-06T11:26:00.000-07:00

one of my items in my etsy store was featured! (top right) how fun.
funny enough it's the only thing i have listed right now. more coming soon :)

angel

2010-11-04T18:51:00.000-07:00

this dog is cracking me up. he's bipolar!

sometimes he looks like this:

and sometimes like this:

go adopt him at http://www.petfinder.com/petdetail/17782902 so we can keep him smiling.

house love

2010-10-25T21:42:00.000-07:00

This weekend I...

took the doors off of our kitchen shelves for open shelving (with a little help from James!)

framed an [ugly] painting I made (at least it adds color?)

replaced the light cover with a mason jar

...fun right?

rearranged our bedroom

And made and added a headboard to our bed.

I love having a home that I can decorate all day long should my heart desire. :)

If anyone's interested in how I made the headboard, I bought a HUGE piece of foam (4 x 8) and cut it down to 61 x 30 inches, then covered it with fabric that I stapled on. (The staple gun is my new favorite toy.) Unfortunately, the fabric I chose and waited in line for 30 minutes to get cut was too little (there was only a yard left on the roll!) and I had to cut it 2 ways for it to barely fit. The unfortunate part is that I didn't have enough fabric to pull it and staple it behind the foam board... I had to do the staples along the edges of the front. Oh well, I still plan to put nailheads around the edges, perhaps right in between the staples. Still turned out alright for my first try and it only cost me $12 total!

Next up... DIY curtains and a mostly finished living room thanks to our new chair that should be arriving in a few days!

Sep 4, 2010

2010-10-10T19:35:00.000-07:00

Some of my favorite wedding pics, vintagified.

a must have

2010-09-30T21:32:00.000-07:00

please buy me this. pretty please!? i'm gonna DIE without it!!!!!!! thanks. :)

Acrylic coffee table, overstock.com, $223.99

remember that one time.... i made an ottoman?

2010-09-29T11:29:00.001-07:00

my new favorite thing: SLC curbside trash pick up day! this lovely event occured a few days ago and, of course, james and i took it as an opportunity to scavenge some needed items for our new home. so late sunday night, we crept around the neighborhood essentially stealing peoples trash.

we found some cool stuff: a chair with tufted red velvet upholstery, a bookshelf, an entertainment system (which we were actually tipped off to from james' uncle across town), and my fav find? a ghetto old ottoman. simply because an ottoman/coffee table have been on my list of things we need for the house. i planned to get it reupholstered, but after calling a few upholstery businesses only to have $75 dollars be the cheapest quote!!!!... i decided to do it myself.

here's the before picture: (actually, i had already done a few coats of spray paint on the legs at this point. before they were a medium brown and were pretty scuffed up.)

and

(don't mind our ugly green couches, but do mind the aforementioned red chair!)

yeah, i went ghetto and decided to just staple the new fabric onto the old (i'm new at this reupholstery thing and i didn't want to risk messing the ottoman up beyond repair) but i actually totally love it. and instead of costing $75, it ended up costing more like $10. (free ottoman, $7.50 for fabric, $9 for staple gun, $2 for staples.) the fabric is reeeeeeeeally soft too, so my feet are happy along with my eyeballs.

anyway, i'll post more pics of our stolen items along with our new house in the near future. xo.

ghosts

2010-09-21T13:38:00.000-07:00

So turns out I'm not in school yet because of something weird with the application, but NO WORRIES! I am practicing my interior design skills all up in our home to the dismay of of my dear husband... (jk, but furniture is expensive, much to his, my, and everyone's dismay.)

As I have been searching the webs for uniquely modern yet classic pieces to eventually work with, I keep coming back to the ghost chair as the epitome of fitting that bill. I'm convinced that these little babies are the coolest thing since James Dean. They add an air of class, sex appeal, and modernity to any setting. And they're comfortable, too! (My brother is lucky enough to own a few.) See for yourself:

These chairs will never go out of style and I will never fall out of love.

While I wait patiently for my husband and I to grow to be rich (the cheapest you can find these is around 300 a pair..for the replicas at that.. why does beauty have to be so expensive?!) and I get to purchase a pair of my very own ghost chairs, I have found something else to satiate my ghostly appetite...

THE KARTELL BOURGIE LAMP!Isn't it just beautiful?! Of course I could only afford a replica as these lovelies sell for hundreds to thousands of dollars, but it's all the same to me and I feel so lucky even to have found one in my price range*. I'll be waiting with bated breath for this to arrive at my doorstep.

*And even that's a generous estimate of my "price range." ;)

good times

2010-09-13T23:10:00.000-07:00

this gave me shivers.

also, i'm married! here are a few pics sent to me by a friend. more to come.

sup

2010-08-24T19:50:00.000-07:00

James advised me to make a new blog post as we have now received 2 sets of the monogrammed mugs and numerous latte bowls. thanks everyone!!! but we may be set on those items for now ;)

in other news,
-we just got back from Utah where we started to set up shop! we even got a new bed!
-james referred to this as "nesting" and i subsequently almost died
-brought the utah heat back with us.. sorry folks
-i start at LDSBC the day after we get back from our honeymoon :)
-went through the temple a week ago tomorrow. crazy right? and awesome.
-i have a new baby nephew named.. PIERCE!
-it's james' bday. shout outz to my baby.
-i think i'm gonna fit into my wedding dress.. thanks to the good Lord
-kara's cupcakes will be our "wedding cake". you're welcome!

presentssss

2010-08-02T19:05:00.000-07:00

If it were normal to register at Anthropologie and/or Urban Outfitters, I would do it in a heartbeat. That's where I plan on getting all my home stuff anyway! Here's what would go on my wishlist at Anthro:

Latte Bowls - Set of 6 ~ $30

Perpetual Blooms Bath Towels (in slate, gold, and peacock) ~ $36

A & J Monogrammed Mugs ~ $6

Dotty Match Pot Holders ~ $12

Spanish Omelet Apron ~ $28

aj

2010-08-01T23:43:00.000-07:00

anyone who reads my blog knows that i'm obsessed with afton (hey girl.) and i've always thought to myself that i wanted to end up with a boy like her (funny, nice, spiritual, quirky and someone who really gets me and vice versa.) welllllll, i knew i'd found all those qualities in james (hey boy) but today it has been confirmed that he is afton quality because.........

HE CLEANED MY ROOM FOR ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

afton used to do that when we lived together in the blue house, and for some reason i find it to be one of the biggest acts of service anyone could do for me.

dang. i'm so lucky to have an amazing husband to be and a best girly girlfriend.

the thing to do

2010-07-17T11:26:00.001-07:00

-the most recent trend i've started: getting engaged. congrats, saratoga stake!

-this book made me cry within the first 5 minutes of reading it. if anyone out there is struggling with how to feel about prop 8 related/general gay issues in the church, READ THIS. for example, she reminds that "sin" stems from "missing the mark." ....if we were doing archery with someone, and they missed the target, we wouldn't turn away in disgust and judgement. we would say "try again!!!".... thanks, james, for bringing this book into my consciousness.

-i am getting married on SEPTEMBER 4TH, 2010. will you please save the date? don't go out of town for labor day. how boring.

that's all i got, folks.

2

2010-06-16T13:40:00.001-07:00

i know i left you pining for 2 months and now, 2 posts in a day? but i just found this picture and it needed to be shared

i can't decide if this is beautiful or frightening. the colors are lovely but i'm thinking the latter....

I'M ALIVE

2010-06-16T11:13:00.001-07:00

what's up boring blog! sorry for the neglect. got better things to do, yo.

life:
-changed the date to sep 4th. afterwards, we will be going on a honeymoon cruise to mexico. then, we will move back to james' house in SLC. how did i get so lucky?
-then maybe long beach?!
-part time job = babysitting 5 hours a week. full time job = haunting wedding blogs and planning planning planning, all day everyday!
-movies
-weather
-afton
-i need to lose 5-10 lbs to ensure i fit into my wedding dress. ideas?
-taking engagements on friday, WOOP
-cuddling families
-animals
-san francisco

A Tale of Two Lovers

2010-05-01T13:21:00.000-07:00

It was August of 2001. For the better part of the previous year I had attended Pinewood School in Los Altos Hills with, among others, one Kelly Carlsted. Kelly brought Lisa Noon - dear friends that they were and are - to a dance at Pinewood earlier in the year where I made Lisa's acquaintance and even shared a slow-dance with her. On that 13th of August, a Monday, at Especially For Youth (known amongst some of my friends as Mormon Boot Camp), I recognized Lisa - who, parenthetically, is Buddhist. Standing with her there in the Lucie Stern Hall cafeteria at Stanford University was a young woman named Adrienne. (I'm told that Lisa, after meeting me the first time, mentioned to Adrienne her having met "this cute Mormon boy" whom she might like.)

There was something simultaneously intriguing and familiar about Adrienne. We were friends right away. She was relaxed and hilarious and kind. We ran into each other all over campus, spent our time together at the dances and the talent show, and discovered our mutual love of Weezer and third-wave ska and other music that was somehow agreed on by hot chicks like her and tube-sock-wearing dweebs like me.

After EFY, the next time I saw her was at a Weezer concert in San Jose. She was, in fact, with me when I encountered my first celebrity man-crush at said concert: Mike Park of Asian Man Records. We left the concert arm in arm, loudly singing "El Scorcho" and others, mostly unconcerned with what those around us thought of our (sober) carousing. A month or two later came her 16th birthday party at her home in Saratoga. Fifteen minutes by car is a long trip when you can't drive, so I only made it there once in high school. I felt surrounded by people whose on-campus popularity far exceeded mine. Adrienne denies the validity of this impression. We met up at an Aquabats show at Slim's in San Francisco, ran into each other unplanned at another, and my autumn 2002 move to Salt Lake City made that the last of our meetings until just before I left on my mission.

Three years, five months (it was now the summer between my first year of college and my mission), a few sporadic phone calls and several hours' worth of AIM conversations later, a vaguely familiar 408 number came up on my phone. It was my old friend, Adrienne. She was in Salt Lake City, where I was again living. The idea of meeting up with her was interesting to me, but I pictured in my mind only a brief recap of the last four years, a good story or two, a one-and-a-quarter-second hug, and a few nice e-mails before I left for Indiana. I got more than I thought I'd bargained for.

After getting dinner at Beto's and reminiscing some time (to reference a great '90s rap tune), I decided I should sleep. For the entirety of my drive back home from her aunt Jeri's house, I filled my ears and my vocal cords with the anthemic and sentimental strains of Weezer's Pinkerton album. If there's a single album that for me calls to mind a single person and time period, it's Pinkerton and the images it evokes of Adrienne and the year between the summers of 2001 and 2002 (a time we both refer to as our "age of innocence"). Upon my arrival, my foot was nudged by something that slid from under my seat. It was Adrienne's camera. I informed her without delay that I was coming back to return it. Almost coyly, she replied that I "(didn't) have to". I paid no mind.

What followed was a beautiful, bittersweet, ultimately inexplicable night. We exposed our hearts. For the first time, I really began to reciprocate what Adrienne felt for me. The difficult part was that we had both been seeing other people and were soon to be far apart for what seemed like another æon.

The final pangs of my teenage angst (I was nearly 19) were felt as we parted ways - I was soon to be a celibate missionary five states away, and what were we to do about it? We saw each other twice more in the next month, and then I was off to the Missionary Training Center for three weeks before the plane to Indiana. As an aside, a joke perpetuated by missionaries at the MTC is that the one difference between it and prison is permission to visit people who are in prison.

Adrienne and I wrote occasionally throughout my mission service. We were excited to get each other's letters, but we also had our minds on other folks. However - as a missionary in Muncie, Indiana, I wrote what is to this day the most straightforward and sincere love song I've ever written. It was about Adrienne - specifically, the morning we said goodbye at Jeri's after talking until nine or 10 in the morning. It'll be made public someday.

I arrived home in Palo Alto in September of 2007 only to move back to Salt Lake City two weeks later. Miss Barringer and I were seeing each other semiweekly (that's more than once per week) by Halloween. We once again found the capacity and propensity for scouringly personal conversations that tended to last well into the night. Thus began a fairly impassioned - albeit unsteady - partnership that lasted through April. The devil, as some say, is in the details. I often say these days that Adrienne and I learned each other's absolute best and absolute worst before we started the brief dating stint that led to our engagement; these winter months were the setting for that most valuable education. Sometimes within the same day we loved and loathed each other, pushed and pulled each other, held and soothed each other. (That's not a song lyric, but it may soon be copyrighted, so beware.) Looking over the e-mails and messages we exchanged during that time is a telling thing. In addition to being rife with our personal jokes and nicknames and stories, they display our deep concern and love for each other coupled with a frustration that is only born of imbalanced feelings. The crux of our problem, I eventually realized, was my reluctance to take the relationship further. When one's significant other acts on romantic feelings only to back off repeatedly, one is sure to want to tear one's (and one's partner's) hair out.

It suffices to say we didn't see each other for nearly two more years. I'll take the blame for the impetus that led to our silence. We had very sporadic contact via various impersonal wireless media, but it was all very terse and tenuous. When everything blew up, I didn't think a "sorry" would be accepted; when contact resumed, I'd forgotten that I'd forgotten to apologize.

But, nevertheless, regular contact did slowly resume in late 2009. I was always happy to hear from Adrienne (little did she know during that time) and was especially glad that she was warming up to me again. While we were home over the winter break, she conceded to my frequent requests to see each other and we met up at her house in Saratoga just before New Year's Eve. We were very cordial and a little distant, but we had more honest communication and sincere laughs than I'd ever expect at our reunion given the way things had ended the last time. After we got a nice dinner at I Gatti (her old employer - a clever Italian translation of its hometown's name, Los Gatos) with the aforementioned Kelly and her boyfriend that night, we were sitting outside a theater in my car. She called me by name while explaining something. She wasn't looking at me, so she didn't see me trying to hold back the, uh, waterworks. I realized I had really, really missed this woman.

I went back to my parents' apartment with a strange feeling. I had fallen for Adrienne all over again. I wrote out my thoughts about the prospect of ending up with her - the logic, the nostalgia, the pros and cons and everything in between. We met up two days later and spent another NYE ('07-'08 we were in Santa Cruz with Mars and Lisa) together. This included a mountain drive with her brother, Patrick. I once again went home with the vibe that, despite my newly-throbbing heart, she wasn't about to jump back into the past with me. I started to think she was wise in her resistance. Back to Utah we went, I hoping to take her on a date and she seemingly thinking little of our brief reunion. A post showed up on my Facebook wall: "hey dude, wanna tune my guitar?". A glimmer of hope!

Tune Adrienne's guitar I indeed did, immediately after which I commenced in plucking out two love songs that had made me think of her for years. Her poker face remained. I played the songs a few more times at later dates with the same result. Regardless of her nonchalance toward the song-and-strum with which I once wooed her, we started having more and more fun. We shared big entrées at local joints, we verbally harassed each other, we sent funny stories at all hours of the day via text message, we sang uninhibitedly, we read from the scriptures. But - when a passing comment about her "nice legs" slipped between my teeth, she started to get suspicious. Later that night - it was February 3rd of 2010 now - I explained my resurging feelings. Her free spirit, her giving heart, her formidable strength, her smile, her intellect and intuition and singing voice and soft striking beauty and all our common ground and wonderful memories had been haunting me since that night at Jeri's four-and-a-half years ago, and they finally assaulted me.

We talked about it after her (subdued) shock wore off, decided not to ruin our friendship with another dating relationship, and then changed our minds after a couple days. Shortly thereafter, realizing we had witnessed in full every good and bad thing (not only did we shake hands with each of each other's closeted skeletons, but we invited them over for dinner and conversation and pie) about one another, and realizing furthermore that we still loved each other, and my realizing that whatever trepidation I'd had about the relationship in past years was almost completely gone, we started talking about, y'know, the future. Very quickly, I know - but it was an awfully (for a couple of kids in their twenties) long time in the making. The "odds" of us getting married began to be quasi-jokingly verbalized in projections beginning at 60-40, on to 70-30, and so forth. The perusing of pages and pages of rings, dresses, and color combos naturally followed. I enjoyed it too.

I got a ring she liked. I called her folks, whom I'd already met several times and who were very nice in giving their blessing on the whole thing. Then Adrienne and I went on a "picnic" to the Bonneville Salt Flats where no one and no thing can be seen or heard for miles. She got cold and wanted to get back in the car, so I decided after driving back south for a few minutes that I had to pee. Afterward, I announced my bright idea to slow-dance out there on the cold, salty plains. I put Weezer's "Butterfly" (from Pinkerton, of course) on the stereo, again made sure she didn't notice the little box in my coat pocket, and, once the song ended, I did it. She did it. On went the ring.

* * *

So in the end EFY was, as its proprietors and attendees often hope it will be, the setting of a chance meeting which eventually led to a romance. And here we are: two romantics who wake up late -- two exact equals who hate and love the world -- two weird kids who make fake facebook accounts and are content to wear the same thing six days in a row, leave for LA at 3 AM and crash on friends' couches, headbang in the car, exchange clothes, reminisce about our high school days, watch a Scorsese flick, then read inspired words from religious texts. We make salads, we laugh at farts, we pray, we buy cheap nice crap, we grow and teach each other and improve independently and together. We know each other inside and out, in all seasons and levels of maturity, and love each other all the more because of it. We sprang back from having given up on each other - but, proverbially and literally, we never burned each other's letters. We went from mutually-attracted good friends to long-lost friends to lover-best-friends to embittered exes to acquaintances to best friends to lovers to family.

A running joke about two people being "the bomb diggity" individually and, by fate, together, was born in a skit we saw the week we met. To this day we continue referencing it. I'd like to think it finally has proper application.

(Written by the lovely and talented James McOmber -- my husband-to-be with whom I share this real life fairytale. Thanks for taking the time to write this out, dear. I love you.)

fact

2010-04-18T22:26:00.001-07:00

being engaged is a bitch.

jkkkk. it's pretty cool. but it just kinda sucks, you know?

i miss my jamesie every second we're not together.

blah blah blah, gotta finish up my homework so i don't completely fail all my classes during this, the worst semester of my life.

that's another thing - don't get engaged in the middle of a hard semester. that's a bitch too.

broken bells

2010-04-12T22:19:00.000-07:00

i love james m. ;)

cast your vote

2010-04-06T14:37:00.000-07:00

guess what i received in the mail today

2010-04-02T15:55:00.000-07:00

a swimsuit that looks like this, and a dress that's this color

yesssssssss.

Tell Him - Lauryn Hill

2010-03-17T17:58:00.000-07:00

Let me be patient, let me be kind
Make me unselfish without being blind
Though I may suffer, I'll envy it not
And endure what comes, cause he's all that I got
and tell him

Tell him I need him
Tell him I love him
And it'll be alright
Tell him I need him
Tell him I love him
It'll be alright

Now I may have faith to make mountains fall
But if I lack love then I am nothin at all
I can give away everything I possess
But left without love then I have no happiness
I know I'm imperfect and not without sin
But now that I'm older all childish things end
and tell him

Tell him I need him
Tell him I love him
And it'll be alright
Tell him I need him
Tell him I love him
It'll be alright

I'll never be jealous
And I won't be too kind
Cause love is not boastful
Oh and love is not loud
Tell him I need him
Tell him I love him
Everything's gonna be alright

Now I may have wisdom and knowledge on Earth
But if I speak wrong then what is it worth?
See what we now know is nothing compared
to the love that was shown when our lives were spared
and tell him

lynched

2010-03-14T21:32:00.000-07:00

A while back, I mentioned that I wanted to see David Lynch's "Wild at Heart" after seeing these stills posted on another blog.

However, Isabella Rossellini as the character Perdita was only in the film for a total of probably 5 minutes. Other than that, the movie was.. trippy? Lynch always does this to me. He sucks me in with his crazy characters and weird imagery and somehow I am simultaneously loving/hating the movie as I watch it. One thing I have to give him though - his films stay with me for weeks after having seen them. In this case, these scenes hit me pretty powerfully:

and this one: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SztmuNDfBYQ (which I'm not going to post on my blog because frankly, it was terrifying and inappropriate, so viewers be advised.)

Generally, this movie was pretty freakin weird and I give it a 6/10.

but, at least I knew what the hell was going on in this one. and I still think David Lynch is a silver fox.

last night

2010-03-05T14:22:00.000-08:00

james and i were talking about the word 'smug' and we simultaneously said "smug as a bug in a rug."

this is why i am going to marry him! also because he said,

"i like looking at flowers."

OMG, AND BECAUSE!!!!!! HE JUST DRESSED UP LIKE HIS SOPHOMORE SELF (when i fell in love with him) and he even made his hair have wings!!!!!!!! all for me <3

whole story of our love coming soon

It's all true

2010-03-01T18:22:00.000-08:00

9 years ago, I fell in [puppy] love with this strapping young lad. (Because he was soooooooooooo cute and how could I resist that face?)

Then 3 years ago, he got back from his mission and I fell in love with him again.
:)

Then 2 years ago, he started acting silly and I fell out of love.
:(

But luckily, 2 weeks ago, I fell in love with him again. (Because he was soo cute and how could I resist that face?)

Then 1 week ago, we decided to get married.
(!!!!!!!!!!!!)

Then 2 days ago, he got down on one knee and officially asked for my hand in marriage.

I said hell yes.

The whole story coming soooooooooon. I love you, James.

I always thought this scripture was awesome

2010-02-22T19:39:00.000-08:00

The light of the body is the eye: if therefore thine eye be single [to the glory of God], thy whole body shall be full of light.

Matthew 6:22

cheez-its

2010-02-17T18:06:00.000-08:00

are literally going to kill me. but how i love them soooooooooo.

this weekend

2010-02-11T22:26:00.000-08:00

go kiss someone!

but not him. he's my valentine.

Love and Suicide

2010-02-08T18:05:00.001-08:00

I think my cat wants to commit suicide. Because she doesn't get enough love! I don't understand why people don't love her. I love her so much, but I'm just one person. I can't do it all myself. Is it just me, or is real love in short supply these days? It makes me so sad. I just want to stay in bed and cry all day.

Pressed in a Book

2010-02-08T16:55:00.000-08:00

Doted on like seeds planted in rows
The untied shoelaces of your life
Nurtured all year, then pressed in a book
Or displayed in bad taste at the table.
Problems arise and you fan the fire
While there's a wild pack of dogs
Loose in your house tonight
Cut from bad cloth or soiled like socks
Add it up, and basically people never change

They just talk and make plans in the dark
Or make haste with ideas that can't help
But creep good people out.
As you talk to me to me, what you're assuming
We don't always want what's right.

Did I strike the right set of chords?
You're annoyed,
The goal is to ignite you then move on.
You feel ill at ease, you got no squeeze
And the wise-cracks won't make you more stable.
You've learned your lines to scale and to time
Why must I remind you now
I'm only less able
Cut from bad cloth or soiled like socks
We're ordinary people, we can't help but to change

As we walk and make plans in the dark
Or make haste with the boy who can't help
But creep good people out.
As you talk to me to me, what you're assuming
We don't always want what's right.

Two fallen saplings in an open field
Snow padding gently on an empty bench
An old woman's jewelry lying unadorned
Cold nesting robins allied for the first time
I know when you hear these sappy lines
You'll roll your eyes and say:
"Nice try."

Jim J.

2010-02-02T22:25:00.000-08:00

whiskey

2010-01-27T20:52:00.000-08:00

aka biskey, biskers, mooch, scrub, foo, baby booboo etc...............

has become a real jerk!

jk. i love her soooooo much. i love the way she: trys to eats my feet, kisses me on the lips, takes naps on my fur coat probably thinking it's a relative, begs to have her cheeks scratched, sits in the bathtub after someone gets out of the shower, greets you every time you walk through the door, comes when you call her, loves everyone, reads sea of shoes, gets bored easily, crawls in my lap and takes naps, sits on my desk by the computer, takes naps while sitting up, drinks from my water cups, attacks my feet in the middle of the night if they are sticking out of the blanket, won't touch her scratching posts but loves tearing up the carpet, eats through the straps of my bras, eats brown rice, feta cheese, cereal, etc.

PROOF

the story of my life as of late through visuals

2010-01-27T18:41:00.001-08:00

dichotomy

2010-01-25T20:52:00.000-08:00

i love/hate my roomate for making the most amazing cinnamon rolls in the whole world 2 DAYS IN A ROW!!!! and of course you can't eat just one let alone say no. i feel sick. this totally cancels out the carrots/oatmeal + blueberries i had today.

also,

how do you know if something is a "blessing in disguise" or if things have taken a turn and now your life just sucks?

Dang

2010-01-19T21:41:00.001-08:00

The one time a year when I really really hate being poor. This years Coachella lineup:

FRIDAY APRIL 16: LCD Soundsystem, Them Crooked Vultures, Vampire Weekend, Deadmau5, Public Image Limited, The Specials, Grizzly Bear, Passion Pit, Echo and the Bunnymen, Benny Benassi, Fever Ray, Grace Jones, She & Him, Erol Alkan, The Avett Brothers, Calle 13, The Whitest Boy Alive, The Cribs, La Roux, Yeasayer, Lucero, DJ Lance Rock, The Dillinger Escape Plan, Proxy, Ra Ra Riot, Deer Tick, Wolfgang Gartner, Aeroplane, Iglu & Hartly, Sleigh Bells, P.O.S., Baroness, Hockey, Little Dragon, White Rabbits, Wale, Kate Miller-Heidke, As Tall as Lions, Jets Overhead, Alana Grace, Pablo Hassan.

SATURDAY, APRIL 17: Muse, Faith No More, Tiësto, MGMT, David Guetta, The Dead Weather, Hot Chip, Devo, Coheed and Cambria, Kaskade, 2Many DJ's, Major Lazer, Dirty Projectors, Gossip, Z-Trip, The xx, John Waters, Les Claypool, The Raveonettes, Mew, Sia, Camera Obscura, Tokyo Police Club, Porcupine Tree, Old Crow Medicine Show, Aterciopalados, Bassnectar, Frightened Rabbit, Dirty South, Flying Lotus, Corinne Bailey Rae, Pretty Lights, Shooter Jennings, RX Bandits, The Almighty Defenders, Edward Sharp and the Magnetic Zeros, Craze & Klever, Zoe, The Temper Trap, Portugal. The Man, Band of Skulls, Girls, Beach House, Steel Train, Frank Turner.

SUNDAY, APRIL 18: Gorillaz, Pavement, Thom Yorke????, Phoenix, Orbital, Spoon, Sly and the Family Stone, De La Soul, Julian Casablancas, Plastikman, Gary Numan, Charlotte Gainsbourg, Sunny Day Real Estate, Yo La Tengo, MUTEMATH, Deerhunter, Infected Mushroom, Club 75, Matt & Kim, The Big Pink, Gil Scott-Heron, King Khan and the Shrines, Yann Tiersen, Miike Snow, Talvin Singh, Ceu, B.o.B., Babasonicos, Owen Pallett, The Glitch Mob, Mayer Hawthorne, Local Natives, Rusko, The Middle East, Hadouken!, The Soft Pack, Kevin Devine, Paparazzi, Delphic, One EskimO.

austin

2010-01-15T23:16:00.000-08:00

i am intensely drawn to austin, texas. can someone tell me why? all i really know about it is that it supposedly has a great music scene and an abundance of cool thrift stores. and my brothers favorite band, the gourds, are from there. and someone took a cool picture of the city.

anyone?

you

2010-01-13T22:36:00.000-08:00

"Just as our life began before our birth into mortality, our life does not end with the stopping of a heartbeat. We will continue on. Who you are—you, the distinct individual—you will always be you. Some may say, 'I don’t like myself.' Sorry. You can shape who you become, you can be more than you are today, but you will always be you." -Neil L. Andersen

Digest that for a second and then repeat "I. AM. WONDERFUL!"

VINTAGE

2010-01-12T21:27:00.000-08:00

hey dudes! i added a bunch of cool stuff to my etsy store! check it out!

boys are questionable

2010-01-07T22:45:00.001-08:00

Scenario: James is laying in my bed reading a book and petting Whiskey who is lying beside him.

James: Your cat is creating a constant low rumble.

Adrienne: YOU MEAN PURRING?!!??!!?!?!?!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

guest post from whiskey

2010-01-06T20:17:00.000-08:00

////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////7<<<<<<<<<000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000009000000000-----87777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777

daily bread

2010-01-06T19:57:00.000-08:00

i kind of ate freakishly good today. let's see...

-raisin bran
-key lime pie yogurt
-sweet potato with [spray] butter and maple syrup*
-whole wheat pasta with pesto, salmon, roasted red peppers, and feta cheese*
-blueberries and cottage cheese*

yum.

*items which i shared with whiskey. she especially loved the sweet potato!

haha kitty!

2010-01-05T22:50:00.000-08:00

whiskey business

2010-01-04T18:09:00.000-08:00

meet WHISKEY!~ my new feline child. my roommate got her, and i have since adopted her as one of my own. she is AMAZING.

happy faux birthday, Jesus!

2009-12-25T13:44:00.000-08:00

love times a million

2009-12-22T12:42:00.000-08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=33fqKjs-_E0&feature=related

hey afton

2009-12-16T13:42:00.000-08:00

which one do you wanna be?

what should and should not go on feet.

2009-12-14T22:39:00.000-08:00

color? yes
caged? no.
two tone? yes.
combat? no.
equestrian? yes.
skinny heel? no.
chunky heel? yes.
gladiator? no.
cowboy? yes.
mesh? no.
oxford? yes.
patent? at times, but mostly no.
mary jane? yes.
fringe? not so much.
studded? hell yes.

*this is just like, my opinion, man.

yo lisa

2009-12-12T16:25:00.000-08:00

“Ubuntu” is an African term that means what makes us human is the humanity we show each other. It’s a worldview that sees humanity as a web of family rather than a mass of individuals. When you relate in this way, you feel connected, energized and have a sense of abundance.

can you dig this??

yo krystle

2009-12-12T16:07:00.000-08:00

(cavalier king charles spaniels.)

eh eh??

righty or lefty?

2009-12-10T20:24:00.000-08:00

can everybody please go look at this and leave a comment letting everyone know which brain sided you are? it says most people are left. i'm RIGHT. in fact, i have tried for so long to try and see her going counter clockwise but without fruition. it has me worried that i am, in fact, missing half a brain.

watch this.. it's GENIUS!

2009-12-10T12:31:00.000-08:00

"Eat, Pray, Love" Author Elizabeth Gilbert muses on the impossible things we expect from artists and geniuses -- and shares the radical idea that, instead of the rare person "being" a genius, all of us "have" a genius. It's a funny, personal and surprisingly moving talk.

i just ate this

2009-12-09T17:47:00.001-08:00

for dinner.

bathtub break

2009-12-09T12:26:00.000-08:00

i take one [almost] every day.

why utah kind of sucks

2009-12-02T16:12:00.000-08:00

is it normal for someone to celebrate their birthday that was a week before yours, on your actual birthday? i'm not so sure...........................

whateva. JOINT BARRINGER-NOON BDAY PARTY, DEC 18TH, GRANDMA AND GRANDPA THEMED, CALIFORNIA STYLE, where the ppl are CHILL but the weather is nottt

<----- me and lisa in 60 years

birthday

2009-11-30T21:15:00.000-08:00

and... burned cd's of every kind, corduroys of every color, sweaters from all walks of life...

thank you.

alphabet pony

2009-11-22T20:00:00.000-08:00

no fun not happy got no money need a friend a volcano dish on a mountain-top to live in

cancel sunday cancel monday don't look at me i been running on a no-tomorrow road at great speed need a punch a pop a bang a different song like a nice new home needs a mean stray dog

we go up down up down up down town again we like the walk the talk don't stop and fall into the quicksand sharp teeth dry heat can't breathe too many sins don't forget my cigarettes and get something that we can drink

read the lyrics

2009-11-21T23:10:00.000-08:00

standing in the red, red rain

2009-11-21T00:40:00.000-08:00

............her doubt and her deep faith and her lust and longing and fierce discipline—she’s a dazzlement, a living breathing paradox…................

i am beeeeeeeeggggggggggggggggiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnggggggggggggggggggggg

warm light on a winters day

2009-11-20T12:29:00.000-08:00

reason #874365 why my Heavenly Father loves me.

within four years of my moving to utah, the establishments of five new-to-utah businesses:

1. Ikea
2. Urban Outfitters
3. Chipotle
4. Whole Foods
5. In N Out

aka, some of my all time favorites. coincidence? i'm positive not.

i

2009-11-18T12:30:00.000-08:00

have ideas.
need to see the dead weather.
am dreaming.
want to drop out.
am interested in being warmer than i am.
got bangs.
am your grandma in multiple ways.
should go.

but

"will there be enough water, when my ship comes in?
when i set sail, will there be enough wind?" -dw

filwag

2009-11-16T13:50:00.000-08:00

this is the result of:
1. really, REALLY not wanting to write my paper.
2. being freeeeeeeeezing.
3. being just a little too obsessed with the stripes.

please, come join me for some more of this!.. so i can continue to put off my paper.
for-ever. forEVER. forever. foreverrr.

sisterly <3

2009-11-11T22:01:00.000-08:00

in regards to my new shoes...

addie: i feel like mary kate would approve. thats like my new standard for shopping.
bridget: what about ashley?

things to do people to see

2009-11-04T22:32:00.000-08:00

REMINDERS!!!!

Movies I want to watch:
-Wild at Heart
-Suspiria
-Grey Gardens

Food I have and need to eat:
-Butternut squash
-Tomatoes
-Avocados
-Sweet potato
-Potatoes
-Greens
-Strawberries
-Roasted bell peppers
-Onion

HW:
-Soc of Dev interview paper (nov 12?)
-Applied parenting paper (nov 13)
-Health presentation (nov 13)
-Anth of Mormonism paper (next week?)

People to see:
-Everyone. but mostly AFTON!

k cool. i think that's it for now. thanks.

and now, so you have something to look - my current o.b.s.e.s.s.i.o.n.s.

(total rip off of these 2006 balenciaga boots, but, OH WELL!)

and for the more fashionably conservative, click HERE - check those babies out in pink! :)

.............Thrifty Cakes would not be happy about this!!!!!

?

2009-11-04T17:48:00.000-08:00

why hasn't anyone wished me a 'happy 1 month until your birthday'?

the thanksgiving spirit

2009-11-02T16:00:00.001-08:00

i just wanted to tell everyone in the blogosphere...

I LOVE MY FAMILY!!!!!!!!!!!!

maybe it's cause i'm growing up but i am in awe at all my parents do for me and i feel an overwhelming surge of gratitude running through my body.

also, ryan, neil, bridget, patrick = coolest people ever??

and, simone, tangerine, sid vicious, ollie, and cheetoh = most perfect pets a girl could ask for??

i'm lucky.

feelings

2009-11-02T14:54:00.000-08:00

do you ever think in terms of your facebook status? right this second i would be "adrienne barringer is killing school." SERIOUSLY, WTF UVU??!!! i have so much to do that i can't even get motivated to start. everything is due in 1-2 weeks and all i can manage is brainstorming about how i am going to get everything done in time. i started studying for a test that i have to take by wednesday, but my brain must have stopped functioning because nothing makes sense to me. at this point i am thinking about just taking the test and being real happy about the 20 percent of the questions i get right. ughh.... i am just getting too overzealous about thanksgiving break because i just bought my plane ticket yesterday. i can already smell the sweet potatoes, green bean casserole... fresh ocean air.. can already feel myself embracing simones fat furry body and patricks bean pole body... can already imagine how nice it will be to sit around and mindlessly watch television... ride bikes... big bed... baby nephew... elderly grandparents... high school sweethearts.... beautiful LG with a warm welcoming at i gatti.. BIG SIGH. thank you. this has relaxed me a bit. i guess i should return to reality now. ps-check out my other, better blog, thriftycakes.blogspot.

night dreams, day dreams

2009-10-29T16:01:00.001-07:00

so, for everyone who knows that i'm obsessed with jack white... GOOD NEWS! I FINALLY HAD A DREAM ABOUT HIM LAST NIGHT! (i supposedly had a dream about him about a month ago when krystle was sleeping over and heard me sleep talking, saying "oh jack! that's such a good idea!" but i don't remember, so i'm not sure it counts.)

anyway, so i met him somewhere. his hometown (tennessee) or mine. he was super nice and allowed me to come back to his place where there was all sorts of musical instruments. i asked/begged him if he would sing me a song. after some hesitation, he agreed. so he busted out his electric guitar and sang "dead leaves and the dirty ground" he was totally theatrical and putting on a show, i loved it. he even did some kick stands during the instrumental part. well afterwards, i was on the verge of tears, and he asked me why it touched me so much. i said something like, "i just LOVE your voice. it's so interesting and i love that it's not perfect. it just ignites a PASSION in me that i haven't felt before. and i don't know where to aim that passion yet but i'm just so thankful that it's there..."

to be clear, i like jack's voice but it doesn't really ignite a passion in me. haha. but i still think it was a really cool dream and i bet deep down it means something important.

end.

a poem on fasting

2009-10-25T22:32:00.000-07:00

Is not this the fast that I have chosen? to loose the bands of wickedness, to undo the heavy burdens, and to let the oppressed go free, and that ye break every yoke?

Is it not to deal thy bread to the hungry, and that thou bring the poor that are cast out to thy house? when thou seest the naked, that thou cover him; and that thou hide not thyself from thine own flesh?

Then shall thy light break forth as the morning, and thine health shall spring forth speedily: and thy righteousness shall go before thee; the glory of the Lord shall be thy reward.

Then shalt thou call, and the Lord shall answer; thou shalt cry, and he shall say, Here I am. If thou take away from the midst of thee the yoke, the putting forth of the finger, and speaking vanity;

And if thou draw out thy soul to the hungry, and satisfy the afflicted soul; then shall thy light rise in obscurity, and thy darkness be as the noonday:

And the Lord shall guide thee continually, and satisfy thy soul in drought, and make fat thy bones: and thou shalt be like a watered garden, and like a spring of water, whose waters fail not.

-the great poet ISAIAH

temporal

2009-10-21T21:38:00.001-07:00

*love your neighbor(s market)

*my yellow house / my purple tree

*flower - not photoshopped - photoshop is a lie

*adrienne and ariel

*sexy lady circa jan 08, circa roscoes

*there's a rainbow in my closet

spiritual

2009-10-21T21:27:00.000-07:00

*all pictures taken at temple square

while we're on the topic...

2009-10-15T21:18:00.001-07:00

o.m.g.WANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

waiting here for you

2009-10-14T22:43:00.001-07:00

it's been a while since i've made my way over to payless, but it looks like my boredom payed off tonight! i guess i have been out of the fashion loop, but i was thrilled to find the "designer" section of this site - apparently high fashion isn't selling at the moment due to this economic situation, and legit designers are making cheaper versions of their gems and selling them at prices the general public can actually afford. their loss is my gain! not to mention, the store is having a sale at the moment. buy one get one half off. i suggest you do just that.

these two little beauties are in the mail and i only spent 40$ total! wooooo!

the light light

2009-10-13T21:29:00.000-07:00

Yesterday in my applied parenting class, I learned the most important thing I've ever learned in formal education. This lesson was taught to me by an amazing man, Davee Chandler. Why is he so cool, you ask? Because he has a long beard that matches his long hair that fits right in with his tattoos that probably looks great on his harley motorcycle that he rides to his LDS church where he teaches and serves with one of the strongest spirits I have ever come across. He thinks parenting is the most important feat anyone can undertake, and to quote him, he is "violently attached to his integrity." So cool.

So a lady in my class asks how she should handle her grown child who she feels is messing up her life, has anger problems, and won't speak to the mother for months at a time.

This was Davee's answer. (Excuse the bullet format as I am copying directly from my notes.)

*This applies to all HUMAN RELATIONSHIPS.

-Our tendency is to pay attention to what's going wrong. That's what was done to us!
-"Discipline" has a negative connotation. Don't you think of discipline as punishment?
-"Disciple" is a follower. Would you want to follow someone who was constantly punishing you?
-Discipline should be a reward for a job well done.
-Our society is messed.. 60% on a test (MAJORITY right!) is FAILING.

*If unwanted negative behavior is darkness, how do you make darkness go away?
-YOU TURN ON THE LIGHT!
-(What if you want to make it dark [to watch a movie?] You turn on the dark, right? NO. You turn OFF the light.)
-Light governs dark. It always has. It always will.

-So, helped loved ones find the light... and the darkness will go away.
-Negative behavior is the absence of something (light)
-Replace it with positive behavior.

He then went on to talk about the law of attraction, and how people will be attracted to our light.. they will sense the glow.. they will come to us for healing. "Let your light so shine..."

Some students mentioned, well can't you have too much self esteem/confidence?
-NO. You can have too much other esteem, but not self esteem.
-Humility is not playing small (*see Nelson Mandela quote)
-Whenever people were crying at Christs feet or something, Christ would always bid them.. arise.. (stand with me, talk with me..)

SO, that's basically it. I suppose I already knew this from something I learned in general psychology (positive reinforcement is the only way to change behavior) and well, everything I've learned from the Gospel. I guess I've just been reminded, and I want to share these truths with you. I hope you can ponder it and feel the truth of it as well.

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." -NM

nbp

2009-10-12T07:59:00.000-07:00

good morning. i was just noticing... some people blog about EVERYTHING. like, they document with a photograph every move they make, and then they post about the disgusting pairing of foods they accidentally came across, etc. i wonder if this is a disease: people think that if they do not blog about an incident, it never actually happened. nonblogophobia. you heard it here first.

also, AFTON! i had a dream about you. i dreamt that you moved into the small awesome vintage red brick house across the street (does not exist) and we kicked your roomate out and had a sleepover. it was fun. i guess maybe that dream wasn't blog-worthy. maybe i have NBP.

the truth.

2009-10-11T10:32:00.000-07:00

May I refer to a modern “last days” testimony? When Joseph Smith and his brother Hyrum started for Carthage to face what they knew would be an imminent martyrdom, Hyrum read these words to comfort the heart of his brother:

“Thou hast been faithful; wherefore . . . thou shalt be made strong, even unto the sitting down in the place which I have prepared in the mansions of my Father. And now I, Moroni, bid farewell . . . until we shall meet before the judgment-seat of Christ.”

A few short verses from the 12th chapter of Ether in the Book of Mormon... Later, when actually incarcerated in the jail, Joseph the Prophet turned to the guards who held him captive and bore a powerful testimony of the divine authenticity of the Book of Mormon. Shortly thereafter pistol and ball would take the lives of these two testators.

As one of a thousand elements of my own testimony of the divinity of the Book of Mormon, I submit this as yet one more evidence of its truthfulness. In this their greatest—and last—hour of need, I ask you: would these men blaspheme before God by continuing to fix their lives, their honor, and their own search for eternal salvation on a book (and by implication a church and a ministry) they had fictitiously created out of whole cloth?

Never mind that their wives are about to be widows and their children fatherless. Never mind that their little band of followers will yet be “houseless, friendless and homeless” and that their children will leave footprints of blood across frozen rivers and an untamed prairie floor. Never mind that legions will die and other legions live declaring in the four quarters of this earth that they know the Book of Mormon and the Church which espouses it to be true. Disregard all of that, and tell me whether in this hour of death these two men would enter the presence of their Eternal Judge quoting from and finding solace in a book which, if not the very word of God, would brand them as imposters and charlatans until the end of time? They would not do that! They were willing to die rather than deny the divine origin and the eternal truthfulness of the Book of Mormon.

For 179 years this book has been examined and attacked, denied and deconstructed, targeted and torn apart like perhaps no other book in modern religious history—perhaps like no other book in any religious history. And still it stands. Failed theories about its origins have been born and parroted and have died—from Ethan Smith to Solomon Spaulding to deranged paranoid to cunning genius. None of these frankly pathetic answers for this book has ever withstood examination because there is no other answer than the one Joseph gave as its young unlearned translator. In this I stand with my own great-grandfather, who said simply enough, “No wicked man could write such a book as this; and no good man would write it, unless it were true and he were commanded of God to do so.”

-Jeffrey R. Holland, General Conference Oct 2009

Read the whole thing here please. :)

oh comely

2009-10-06T20:53:00.000-07:00

this is my favorite song. it just makes sense to me.

oh well

2009-09-30T21:06:00.000-07:00

And now my mind is filled with rubber tires and forest fires and whether I'm a liar, and lots of other situations where I don't know what to do, at which time God screams at me, "There's nothing left for me to tell you."

little ghosts

2009-09-27T00:37:00.001-07:00

The Holy Spirit: comforter, testifier of truth, author?

2009-09-23T14:31:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I like to look up and learn about inspiring people on Wikipedia. Today, I looked up Robert Louis Stevenson and was reading about how he came to write "The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde." Here's what I found:

Stevenson had long been interested in the idea of the duality of human nature and how to incorporate the interplay of good and evil into a story ... Stevenson had a dream, and on wakening had the intuition for two or three scenes that would appear in the story. "In the small hours of one morning," says Mrs Stevenson, "I was awakened by cries of horror from Louis. Thinking he had a nightmare, I woke him. He said angrily, 'Why did you wake me? I was dreaming a fine bogey tale.' I had awakened him at the first transformation scene ..."

Upon reading that, I was reminded of something I read a few months back about J.K. Rowling and the coming into being of Harry Potter.

In 1990, while she was on a four-hour-delayed train trip from Manchester to London, the idea for a story of a young boy attending a school of wizardry "came fully formed" into her mind. "I really don't know where the idea came from", she told The Boston Globe, "It started with Harry, then all these characters and situations came flooding into my head." When she had reached her Clapham Junction flat, she began to write immediately.

So I thought I'd look up another another classic tale of good vs. evil. J.R.R. Tolkien has this to say about Lord of the Rings:

The Lord of the Rings is of course a fundamentally religious and Catholic work; unconsciously so at first, but consciously in the revision. That is why I have not put in, or have cut out, practically all references to anything like 'religion', to cults or practices, in the imaginary world. For the religious element is absorbed into the story and the symbolism.

That quote doesn't really prove that he was inspired, but seeing as J.R.R. was a deeply religious man, one can assume he had the spirit with him and guiding him.

I find that fascinating and beautiful and I'm sure there's a million other cases like these.

"And as all have not faith, seek ye diligently and teach one another words of wisdom; yea, seek ye out of the best books words of wisdom; seek learning, even by study and also by faith." -D&C 88:118

for afton

2009-09-17T08:10:00.000-07:00

hey afton this is for you! ~~~~~

don't shoot the blog

2009-09-14T15:21:00.000-07:00

best new word. comeuppance. for those who don't know what it means, it's like karma.. but better.

provo without friends isn't really as cool as provo with friends.

maybe i should just move to portland because i heard that portland, oregon and slow gin fizz, if that aint love then tell me what is.

maybe i should start with the slow gin fizz. just kidding. i don't even know what that is. i'm mormon.

i guess i'll go read my book. and then go to class. and then go to bed.

to the boy in my soc class who sits to the RIGHT of me... wanna get married? you seem nice.