[because the wind is high] it blows my mind

ACROSS THE UNIVERSE IS HANDS DOWN THE BEST MOVIE EVER. okay, that's saying a lot.. but seriously, marissa and i saw it last night and i am slightly obsessed. i don't know if it was the music or the cinematography or jim sturgess' stupidly good looks or all of the above, but i basically have not been able to do anything today besides download the songs, read plot synopsis', look at pictures of every actor, watch movie clips, and have vividly euphoric daydreams about the movie. i don't think that's ever happened to me before. sure--eternal sunshine, science of sleep, and amelie all have the artsy qualities but might just lack the little bit of heart and soul provided by the soundtrack. i also love that i've been reminded how much i dig the beatles. ahhhhh, memories. anyway, if you haven't seen it WILL YOU COMMIT TO SEEING IT? satisfaction guaranteed.

bitterheart, tonight.

I FEEL LIKE THIS GUY right now. how bout a song.

The gutter may profess its love, then follow it with hesitation,
But there are just so many of you out there for rent.

A stronger girl would shake this off in flight, and never give it more than a frowning hour
But you have let your heart decide, loss has conquered you.

You've won one too many fights,
Wearing many hats every time.
But you wont win here tonight.

You've made it through the direst of straits, alright.
Can you help it if plain love now seems less interesting?
You haven't changed an ounce in my eyes and I cannot lecture you.

And does anything I say seem relevant at all?
You've been at the helm since you were just five,
while I cannot claim to be more than a passenger.

But you've won one too many fights,
Wearing all of your clothes at the same time.
Let the good times end tonight,
Oh girl, sail her, don't sink her this time.

Just a moment or two from now, not a mind will retain even a trace
Of the thoughts that I struggled to tell, and how our stack of cards just fell.

So settle this once and for all.
The light no longer shows the cracks around my door,
And I have no lantern to light your way home tonight.

You are not some saint who's above giving someone a stroll through the flowers,
You've got so much more to dream of.
Oh girl, sail her, don't sink her this time.

Thanks, James.

A couple things: i hate derek, i hate boys, i'm an idiot, i'm never going to be happy, i'm really sick of humans, i'm still an idiot, i probably should be nicer to people, wishes are for fishes, somebody pinch me.

30 more days! pray for me.

ask if you want to know.

pink geetar

word up. i just got home from eating with james at red robin and my belly is full. we ate a MUDD PIE! it was dope. now james is playing my guitar and he's a swell musician. he's a nice human too. i'm trying to think how else to educate my readers. oh - interpol show on monday, and i could not be more excited. only ten dollars. i will be privileged to be in the presence of derek, alex, ian, hopefully jacob and whoever else wants to come. you come. and tell your friends. look, i gotta go. james is belting out california by rufus wainwright. ONLY LOVE

a rave (not that kind, sorry.)

it's one of those nights that stemmed from one of those days that stemmed from one of those weeks. someone take this computer away from me because however badly i want to rant i probably shouldn't for fear of making things worse. let's just say i'm missing lisa. in my mind, that sums everything up. it's like everything lisa is and everything she stands for. for those of you who don't know lisa.. we've been best friends since 7th grade. and i mean best friends. she is my family. she's just so dope. she goes to uc santa cruz and migrates between there, san jose, and san francisco where she attends buddhist meetings and visits her boyfriend. she just knows whats up. she's one of those like 5 out of 100 people who get it, you know? she just got back from ghana. she wants to save the world. she reads the paper and cares about things outside of her own superficial world. and she cares about me, so thats pretty sweet. anyway.. it just sucks when you live in a place like PROVO UTAH where (if you know anything about the lds religion) people CLAIM to get it but they just don't and it's completely obvious and ridiculous and hypocritical and annoying. so for you 95 out of a hundred people who i come in contact with too often and who DON'T GET IT.. grow up. or something. i don't know what to say and it's probably because i'm one of those people i'm talking smack on. i hope not. anyway, i'll just keep putting on this smiling face and hope that someone like lisa will come along and see through it and save me from this facade and tell me it's okay to be pissed or annoyed once in a while, and that maybe the world is not such a big joke, and that rarely you will find someone who cares about things other than themself, and then tell me the latest scoop on the war in iraq and then we can both make fun of bush together without me feeling like a freaking trader to my country and to my religion.

whew. am i done.................? yea i think so. peace out.

church is true

oh and i wanted to give a shout out to marissa. word.