a rave (not that kind, sorry.)

it's one of those nights that stemmed from one of those days that stemmed from one of those weeks. someone take this computer away from me because however badly i want to rant i probably shouldn't for fear of making things worse. let's just say i'm missing lisa. in my mind, that sums everything up. it's like everything lisa is and everything she stands for. for those of you who don't know lisa.. we've been best friends since 7th grade. and i mean best friends. she is my family. she's just so dope. she goes to uc santa cruz and migrates between there, san jose, and san francisco where she attends buddhist meetings and visits her boyfriend. she just knows whats up. she's one of those like 5 out of 100 people who get it, you know? she just got back from ghana. she wants to save the world. she reads the paper and cares about things outside of her own superficial world. and she cares about me, so thats pretty sweet. anyway.. it just sucks when you live in a place like PROVO UTAH where (if you know anything about the lds religion) people CLAIM to get it but they just don't and it's completely obvious and ridiculous and hypocritical and annoying. so for you 95 out of a hundred people who i come in contact with too often and who DON'T GET IT.. grow up. or something. i don't know what to say and it's probably because i'm one of those people i'm talking smack on. i hope not. anyway, i'll just keep putting on this smiling face and hope that someone like lisa will come along and see through it and save me from this facade and tell me it's okay to be pissed or annoyed once in a while, and that maybe the world is not such a big joke, and that rarely you will find someone who cares about things other than themself, and then tell me the latest scoop on the war in iraq and then we can both make fun of bush together without me feeling like a freaking trader to my country and to my religion.

whew. am i done.................? yea i think so. peace out.