i'm a

faker faker faker faker faker faker
and it's so exhausting.
but it's the only way to keep all these demons at bay.
so, i guess i have to be alone forever.
because this is my life.
breathe that in.
there's nothing i can do.
this is my life.

better

if you never say your name out loud to anyone, they can never ever call you by it.

more to come.

hay

hey. i'm so tired. you would think that after school gets out, one would be able to rest and BREATHE again, but i guess not if you have to write one more last english paper, organize acoustic night, get repeatedly and drainingly annoyed with your roomates, stay up til 4 am every night, work on the busiest day of red robin history, and prepare a lesson for sunday school. i just really need a nap. i'm SO excited to go home. people say living in the future or past can't make you happy, but it seems to be the only thing working for me at the moment.

katherine whalen from the squirrel nut zippers kind of just asked my friend james to join the band.

and finally, my hair is brown. here's a picture. don't judge me.

this entry is about life

i'm almost completely and utterly in love.
as far as i can tell.
and it feels. . . O K.

oh, and i'm dying my hair dark right now.

it might look bad.
but it's O K.
i'm almost beautiful on the inside.

stealing home

Chapter One: i should probably get a grip on my L I F E.
the last couple days have just passed me by without me knowing what was going on. between the nights of going to bed at 7 and 4am, i somehow neglected to attend my last anthropology class, in which i was supposed to turn in my 5 page paper. so i emailed it to her with still no response. then i woke up an hour before i was supposed to work on saturday, but luckily my friend ryan wanted my shift so i happily handed it over. then i decide i'll go to salt lake with my free night, which was fun, but little did i know i was supposed to work the next morning. which is a shame, because i had planned to spend the whole day writing the last 7 pages of my english research paper and pretty much my whole grade for that class. so i get to work 2 hours late, and to punish me they make me stay an extra hour, so on top of that plus sidework and silverware, i get back at about 6. well at this point i am slightly delirious from the lack of sleep i'd gotten the night before plus working (hard.) so i take a 3 hour nap. wake up at 9, do my paper til 4. as i'm setting my alarm clock i'm planning to give myself time to shower, print out my paper and articles etc, and stop at smiths for extra credit food and a folder to put the paper in. so it's 11:30 and i'm blowdrying my hair, when i have this epiphany. my class either starts at 11 or 12. not 1. so i go check, and sure enough it's 11. make a long story short, i leave a frantic message on my teachers answering machine and head to campus where i get a call from her telling me to breathe and that she'll be there for another hour and i can go turn my paper into her office. so i used marissas binder she bought from D.I. for my paper and printed all my crap out at the computer lab. now i just have to write another [?] page paper (it was the free write-final for our english class) and email it to my teacher. basically, i'm lucky that my teacher is such a delightful women, and i probably deserve to fail all my classes due to my laxity. if anyone reads this, remind me i have an ART HISTORY FINAL on thursday at ONE (i think :)
christmas break, COME A LITTLE FASTER WOULDJA.

oh tom

now that christmas is approaching, mass production is seeming far more appealing to me.

I want the WHOLE WORLD!

This is what I want for my birthday. Seriously, this is what you have to get me.

1. HEIMA
2. Other movies such as: Everything is Illuminated, Breathless, Science Of Sleep, Raging Bull, The Conversation, Rebel Without a Cause, Life is Beautiful, Shawshank Redemption, ACROSS THE UNIVERSE.
3. Kisses, and along with that, a boyfriend. and a boyfriend for my rat.
4. Kittens!
5. A tomagachi.
6. Thrift store everythings
7. Stuff for my new apartment (Anthropologie.com)
8. New scriptures. . seriously, mine are falling apart.
9. Chipotle.
10. To get my shift covered at work.
11. A fedora.
12. Plaid.
13. Elliot.
14. Mars in SF.
15. Salt.
16. Mudd pie.
17. Nude pie.
18. A PONY!!!

and YOU. come play.

PS- Christmas Trees are more expensive this year. That tricky Jesus, always trying to make a buck!