the light light

Yesterday in my applied parenting class, I learned the most important thing I've ever learned in formal education. This lesson was taught to me by an amazing man, Davee Chandler. Why is he so cool, you ask? Because he has a long beard that matches his long hair that fits right in with his tattoos that probably looks great on his harley motorcycle that he rides to his LDS church where he teaches and serves with one of the strongest spirits I have ever come across. He thinks parenting is the most important feat anyone can undertake, and to quote him, he is "violently attached to his integrity." So cool.

So a lady in my class asks how she should handle her grown child who she feels is messing up her life, has anger problems, and won't speak to the mother for months at a time.

This was Davee's answer. (Excuse the bullet format as I am copying directly from my notes.)

*This applies to all HUMAN RELATIONSHIPS.

-Our tendency is to pay attention to what's going wrong. That's what was done to us!
-"Discipline" has a negative connotation. Don't you think of discipline as punishment?
-"Disciple" is a follower. Would you want to follow someone who was constantly punishing you?
-Discipline should be a reward for a job well done.
-Our society is messed.. 60% on a test (MAJORITY right!) is FAILING.

*If unwanted negative behavior is darkness, how do you make darkness go away?
-YOU TURN ON THE LIGHT!
-(What if you want to make it dark [to watch a movie?] You turn on the dark, right? NO. You turn OFF the light.)
-Light governs dark. It always has. It always will.

-So, helped loved ones find the light... and the darkness will go away.
-Negative behavior is the absence of something (light)
-Replace it with positive behavior.

He then went on to talk about the law of attraction, and how people will be attracted to our light.. they will sense the glow.. they will come to us for healing. "Let your light so shine..."

Some students mentioned, well can't you have too much self esteem/confidence?
-NO. You can have too much other esteem, but not self esteem.
-Humility is not playing small (*see Nelson Mandela quote)
-Whenever people were crying at Christs feet or something, Christ would always bid them.. arise.. (stand with me, talk with me..)

SO, that's basically it. I suppose I already knew this from something I learned in general psychology (positive reinforcement is the only way to change behavior) and well, everything I've learned from the Gospel. I guess I've just been reminded, and I want to share these truths with you. I hope you can ponder it and feel the truth of it as well.

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." -NM