I

am happier than i've been in a year. cheers to home. cheers to christmas.

another holiday classic

in a fight between tiny tim and the bloody olive, this one obviously wins.

oh mickey, you're so fine

mickey's christmas carol always gets me in the christmas spirit. i think it's that tim... so tiny and cute! merry christmas yaaaaaallllllll

BFFZZZZZ

ashley and lisa

kelly, me, and lisa

jordan and hannah

i want to blog about my high school friends. because i just remembered how much i love them!

so it was me, lisa, hannah, jordan, ashley, and kelly. those were my girls. and oh what girls they are.

*we all already know how cool lisa is.

*hannah is so fun... i've known her since i was like 5! we went to the same swim club together and were lifeguards together there when we were 16. it was cool to have our schools merge in 6th grade and get to start hanging out more. she was always the party planner, getting us together on weekends and driving us around. she always had crazy ideas :) but she was totally responsible too! it was cool because we were bff but we were way different. hannah is a beautiful lil dollface but she wasn't super into looks. she was much more sporty, pretty much on every sports team in high school (specializing in basketball and volleyball) and she was always wearing sweats and stuff to school.

*jordy and i became good friends in 7th grade, and then got to go to the same school starting from 9th grade. we met in church so of course we had an automatic bond. jords so cool cause shes kinda like hannah... very sporty and active, but also a bit of partier/fashionista. when she gets going this girl is freakin crazy... super loud and funny. loves it.

*ashley and i met in 7th grade as well.. taking an initial "liking" to each other in exploratory class. i guess we just clicked cause we were both chill and cool, but not obsessed with being "popular" so we just got along. ash is probably THE most unique person i know. she is always one step ahead of the rest of us with her sense of fashion and art. but at the same time, she doesn't spend a lot of money on clothes. she's kind of a cheap hippie. i think she probably started the whole thrift store phenonenon. seriously. mary kate is just a wannabe ashley. haha ;)

*kellllly! how i miss this girl. i met her in 7th grade also.. geez 1999 was a magical year for me. kelly is the bombbbb. sadly she moved away in 9th grade but for a few years, her lisa and i were the fearsome threesome. and luckily when we get together, it feels like not a day has gone by. she is BEAUTIIFFUULLL

all these girls are so beautiful inside and out. i am so lucky to know them. isn't it cool when you can contribute a part of who you are to some wonderful people?

LOVE YOU FRIENDS <3

holidays on ice

i was thinking about my last post and about why i have felt so estranged from humanity this semester. it kinda dawned on me as i was reading dave sedaris' "holidays on ice." i am incredibly sucked in by this mans writing. i feel it to be right up my alley. i find his dark humor and cynical outlook extremely refreshing and relateable. then i found myself wondering why. why am i like that? the simple answer is, i don't know, but i always have been. that is a freeing realization: I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN LIKE THAT! i am a cynic and a jokester and a bit of a jackass. and i just decided there is nothing wrong with that. because it doesnt infringe on my beliefs or on me loving people. it makes me laugh and makes me love myself even more. it makes me feel more whole as a person. and this is why i don't belong in utah. i think that since i moved to utah 3 years ago i have been suppressing my personality for those reasons above, and how i feel that they don't fit into the stereotypical mormon persona. truth be told, i don't get most mormons. i don't understand why they are the way they are and don't feel i can relate to them and therefore the thought/ act of interacting with them causes me stress. well fortunately, throughout the years i have met a few people who have either been like me, or at least appreciated my differences. colin, just like me. marissa, opposite but that attracted us both. afton... well, afton has a shell of sweet optimistism but she's got a little cynic inside of her as well, and on the days when she doesn't, she shrugs and laughs mine off. the point is, this semester i have no one like that around me, and it's been a freaking drag, man. so i'm going back to california where i once belonged. will i ever belong in utah? only time will tell.....

hundred and twenty onest

i decided i don't like my ward. which is weird, because at first i thought i really did. or maybe i just decided i really would. anyway, it's not about anyone in particular, it's just the ward collectively. the collective vibes if you will. i feel like they wait to talk to you until they know you have something smart or funny to say. you have to prove yourself. it's not like i think they are judgmental or anything. it's nicer, more subtle than that. it's like they let you decide how they're going to judge you. i can see it in their "let's see what you have you have to offer" stares. so maybe it's my fault, maybe i just wasn't in the mood to make friends this semester . and why should i be? friends just move away, get married, change, make it clear they have no intentions of "jumping through hoops for you"... stuff like that. either way, it doesn't really matter to me because i'm moving in a week. i guess it makes it easier to say goodbye, knowing you're not really going to miss anyone/no one's really going to miss you.

shows

big time live musical performances i have attended (to remind myself / you were probably wondering)

hanson (3)
nsync
britney spears
maroon 5 (free in a park)
dashboard confessional (2)
the roots
papa roach
sum 41
moby
aquabats (3)
modest mouse
franz ferdinand
interpol
muse
taking back sunday
weezer (2)
yo la tengo
fiery furnaces
andrew bird (2)
the shins
st. vincent (2)
scout niblett
of montreal (2)
mgmt
fleet foxes
squirrel nut zippers (2)
tenacious D
jimmy eat world
celine dion
beach house
the long winters
man man
the killers
apollo sunshine
liars
shiny toy guns
west indian girl
yeah yeah yeahs


it's definitely more than that, but that's all i can recall right now. just that list took me like an hour. maybe i'll add to it later.

shows i've regrettably missed:

arcade fire
band of horses
fiest
my morning jacket
sigur ros
iron and wine
the strokes

bands (besides those listed above) that i just really want to see but haven't had a chance:

neutral milk hotel
the weepies
the wrens
my brightest diamond
belle and sebastian (do they even tour?)
camera obscura
fionna apple
the white stripes
i'm from barcelona
the hippos
girl in a coma
danny fujikawa
deerhoof
fleet foxes and the shins again. and again. and again. and again.

the end.

irony=sucks

i am trying to apply the atoning blood of Christ, because

"Periodically, we too will experience a measure of irony, that hard crust on the bread of adversity. Jesus met irony constantly as He was taunted by circumstances. For instance, this earth is Jesus' footstool, but at Bethlehem there was "no room . . . in the inn" and "no crib for his bed," as "foxes have holes, and birds of the air have nests; but the Son of man hath not where to lay his head" (Luke 2:7; Hymns, no. 206; Luke 9:58; see also Acts 7:49­50). The Most Innocent suffered the most, when some of His subjects did unto Him "as they listed" (D&C 49:6). Bearer of the only salvational name, yet the Lord of the Universe lived modestly as a person "of no reputation" (Philip. 2:7; see also Acts 4:12; 2 Ne. 25:20; Abr. 3:27). Christ "constructed" the universe, yet in little Galilee He was known merely as "the carpenter's son" (Matt. 13:55).

You and I, when impacted by lesser irony, are so much more brittle, often forgetting that some tests by their very nature are unfair, especially when crusty irony is present."

december 4

the best part about my birthday is going to be wearing this dress:

http://www.tulle4us.com/dresses/S6089/

oh the joys of having a credit card <3

oh and ps- i got it for 45, not 80. i aint no fool.

love.

i am filled with gratitude and love right now. after learning of Elder Joseph B. Wirthlins death, i read this article on LDS.org and was reminded of the spirit of his that i felt every time i watched him speak in general conference. his talk this year about "come what may, and love it" was so refreshing and uplifting while i was going through a time of personal struggle in my life. also thinking back to 2 years ago, when he spoke on love, it was so touching because he started shaking and Elder Nelson got up and epitomized the love and charity he spoke about, by standing beside him and holding him still and upright for the rest of talk... priceless. beautiful.

i'm so greatful to have the church in my life.

to read the aforementioned article on Elder Wirthlin go HERE